Sick and Single

Having recently dealt with a cold (and not having a spouse/personal assistant/trained chimpanzee to wait on me hand and foot while I recover), I thought that today I would cover the topic of how to nurse yourself back to health. So, if you're single and feeling a little under the weather, try using some of these tips to make yourself feel a little bit better.

• If you don't have the energy to make yourself some chicken soup, why not order some? Call the local takeout/delivery places and see if any of them have chicken soup on the menu. Or better yet, call all your friends and family to tell them you're sick. If you're lucky, one of them might make you some chicken soup and hand-deliver it to you – nothing better than chicken soup, especially when it's free!
  
  
• Don't forget to drink plenty of clear liquids (vodka doesn't count).
  
  
• Misery loves company. So, get yourself a sympathetic friend, a pet, or a life-size Pamela Anderson cardboard cutout.
  
  
• Make sure you get some fresh air. Let's be honest, if you just lock yourself away in a small, confined space, you'll just be breathing in more and more of that plague-tainted air. So, crack open a window or go for a brief walk outside.
  
  
• And don't forget, laughter is the best medicine. So, why not place a few crank calls? If any of your friends later ask why you left them a voicemail for Mr. I. P. Freely, simply blame the prank on the NyQuil and move on.