End of Days, Part XIV

It just wouldn't be a party without some kind of party favors to hand out to your guests.  And that sentiment is especially true at your End-of-the-Mayan-Calendar Party.  After all, you Armageddon party may very well be the last party anyone ever hosts.  And you certainly don't want to go down in history as the one party host who didn't hand out party favors.  So, in the interest of helping you select the best party favors possible, allow me to offer you a few gift suggestions:

• Life jackets are a great end-of-the-world party favor.  Not only will they make appropriate neckwear for any guest who forget his necktie at home, but should the world flood in a most Noah's-Arkian fashion, everyone will sure to stay above water.

• New insoles are always a great end-of-the-world party favor.  Between the zombies rising, the aliens landing, and the volcanoes erupting, chances are you and your party guests will soon be doing a lot of running.  And wouldn't a nice pair of new insoles help make that experience a little more enjoyable?

• A book on smoke signals is a particularly useful gift for any guests who might be addicted to social media.  When the solar flares start knocking out our communications networks, your party guests will still be able to update you on their statuses with Twitter-esque smoke signals (140 puffs or less).

• And if all else fails - buy your party guests each a keg of beer.  Because nothing will make the end of the world more pleasant, than a keg of beer...