Easter Leftovers

Do you have a bunch of brightly dyed Easter eggs leftover from yesterday's festivities? Well, I certainly do. And after a quick search of the Internet for creative ideas to use up all those leftover eggs, I must say I'm a bit disappointed. It seems that all the other websites and blogs out there advise you to transform those leftover eggs into egg salad, cob salad, potato salad, and the like. But I find myself rejecting those suggestions. Perhaps it is because I am somewhat of a germaphobe and really have no desire to eat eggs that have been bathed in Red Dye #40 and hidden about the house and lawn for hours on end, only to be found by small children who are covered in springtime mud and freshly picked boogers. That whole scenario just seems ripe with bacteria, and as I always say – better safe than Salmonella-ed. So, I propose that today's blog topic be: what to do with those incredible inedible Easter eggs.

• Compost the eggs.
• Continue the egg hunt by hiding the eggs outdoors (where they won't smell as badly), and allowing the children to find them once again.
• Give everyone a basket of eggs and yell, “Food Fight!”
• Give decorative Easter egg baskets to all your coworkers – the leftover eggs are their problem then.
• Host a skeet shooting competition. Simply toss the eggs into the air and encourage friends and family to try and hit the eggs with a shotgun. (Just be certain not to invite Dick Cheney – we all remember his less than stellar aim with a shotgun...)
• Put a couple of them down your pants, and then go through a TSA pat-down.
• Feed them to a dog, goat, or old man – they'll eat anything.
• Substitute the hard-boiled eggs in place of the more traditional wooden or plastic balls for a civilized (albeit messy) game of backyard croquet.
• Throw the eggs down a flight of stairs. This doesn't accomplish much, but it sure is entertaining.
• Place a couple of eggs in the bottom of the toilet to scare your children into thinking they just popped out a few neon green eggs.