Super Bowl!

Though I must confess to having only the vaguest of understandings when it comes to football, I do enjoy watching the Super Bowl. If not for the sport, than I certainly watch it for the commercials and the requisite junk food. After all, at what other time of year can a guy kick back with a beer in one hand and a nacho-stuffed pizza sandwich in the other? It's like the Mardi Gras of sports competitions! Only in this case, one's indiscretions are solved with a quick swig of Pepto rather than a 40-day period of penance and self-denial.

But all the ensuing gastrointestinal distress, aside. Super Bowl is a great opportunity to gather together with your friends and family and enjoy some of life's guilty pleasures. (And that's speaking strictly from a culinary standpoint, of course. I hardly think that the Super Bowl is an excuse for such guilty pleasures as karaoke, Britney Spears music, or Craigslist dating.) And perhaps the true pièce de résistance is that on this one day of the year, eating your meal in front of the television is not only enjoyable, but required!

So with all that said, I'll finish today's posting with some of my favorite Super Bowl entertaining ideas. Here goes:

• Always serve lots of popcorn. Not only is a well-buttered bowl of popcorn a delicious treat, but it also makes a safe projectile should any frustrated sports fan decide to throw something at the TV in disgust. You'd be surprised just how much damage a couple of sturdy chicken wings can do to a television when hurled at a failed quarterback.
  
  
• Invest in a couple of those universal remotes. It's going to be a night of intense emotion, junk food, and beer – you can pretty much guarantee that you'll lose the TV remote and need a backup... or two.
  
  
• To make your life easier (and to prevent you from missing out on any important plays) always lay all the food out on the coffee table. Sure it might get cold (or in the case of frozen foods, it might get hot), but who really wants to be darting in and out of the kitchen during timeouts? And besides, a melted ice cream cake makes an excellent halftime milkshake.
  
  
• Remember, it's simply not the Super Bowl without some spicy chicken wings.
  
  
• And lastly, if it can get dirty – cover it with a drop cloth. It's amazing how badly a fallen slice of pizza, spilled guacamole, or dribbled nacho cheese sauce can stain your upholstery, carpet, pets, and small children. So before the party starts, wrap everything in a good, thick layer of protective Saran wrap just to be on the safe side.