Oops... Forgot About V-Day...

Sooo... You forgot about Valentine's Day, huh? I suppose there is just one thing to say – Why haven't you been reading this blog? I've been reminding you about Valentine's Day for a month now! But I suppose, in fairness, you've already heard enough about missing everyone's favorite mushy holiday from your better half (who I am sure reads this blog everyday). So, I'll go easy on you today. Just be sure to keep up with this blog from now on. We wouldn't want something like this to happen again, now would we?

So, if you found yourself sleeping in the doghouse last night because you forgot to purchase the requisite Valentine's Day card, roses, and chocolates – here's a surefire way to fix your misdeeds and sleep in your own bed again tonight.

• Let's be honest here – Valentine's Day is about showing off. So stop by the local florist and purchase the largest bouquet of flowers they have. (Preferably roses, but they might not have any left, so get whatever you can.) Fill out a mushy greeting card to attach to the flowers. And then, pay off the delivery boy. (Probably it'll cost you at least $25 to bribe him, but you definitely want him on your side). Have the delivery boy then hand-deliver the flowers to your significant other at her/his place of business (again with the showing off thing). And finally, have the delivery boy earn his bribe by saying something along the lines of – “I'm sorry, I meant to deliver these yesterday, but I forgot.”

Of course, if you can't afford to go to such elaborate measures. Or if for some reason (I can't imagine why) you have qualms about bribing high schoolers to take the fall for you, then try one of the following ideas.

• Take today off and spend it cleaning the house. And by cleaning the house, I mean – cleaning the house. It's a lot of work, but you'd be astounded at how far clean laundry, soap scum-less showers, and freshly shampooed rugs will go when you need to get out of the doghouse.
  
  
• Stop by the local animal shelter and adopt a puppy. Who can stay mad when there's a puppy in the room? Besides, if you get a dog to put in the doghouse, you can't sleep in there anymore. And at the very least, that upgrades you to sleeping on the sofa, if not the bed!

So with all that said, I wish you good luck. And if these ideas don't help, then might I recommend a quick trip to the camping supply store. They make really spacious tents and comfortable air mattresses now, so there's really no reason to be sleeping in the doghouse.