End of Days, Part VI

If you have been invited to an End-of-the-Mayan-Calendar Party, you might consider purchasing a special gift to give your host/hostess.  After all, this could very well be the last host/hostess gift you ever give, and showing up with a fistful of drug store daisies or a bag of leftover Halloween candy could seem... tacky.  So in an effort to help you get a jump start on that host/hostess gift shopping, allow me to provide you with a few suggestions for excellent end-of-the-world gifts.

• fireworks - they'll be useful in distracting the zombies
• beer, ketchup, and toilet paper - serve as a subtle homage to some of humanity's greatest achievements
• a giftbasket of duct tape, nylons, and WD-40 - they can fix anything
• vodka... lots and lots of vodka 
• a lifetime membership to the Twinkie of the Month Club
• holiday fruitcakes - they last forever
• a croquet set - just because the world has ended is no reason to be uncivilized
• a copy of Dante's Divine Comedy - just to see if it's actually comical in a post-apocalytic world
• a Slinky - everyone loves a Slinky
• a fainting goat - also useful in distracting the zombies