February Vacation

I don't know about the schools where you live, but here in Northern Maine, it is time for winter vacation. And so in preparation for this wintertime break, I've complied a short listing of things to do with the kiddies during their time off. They should all prove to be fun activities that will keep the kids out of trouble and out of your hair.

• Play a fun game of American Idol, Babysitter Edition. Simply invite over all the neighborhood babysitters for a group job interview. Then, set up a small stage and have the babysitters perform for your children. Encourage the children to unmercifully criticize the babysitters' performances. Whichever babysitter is the last to burst into tears is named the American Idol and hired to watch the children for the rest of the week.
  
  
• If you're willing to tolerate a little bit of a mess in the house, grease a piglet with Crisco and let it loose in the house. Children can easily spend an entire week chasing such a slippery little swine.
  
  
• The wintertime is a great opportunity to train your children for future careers in ice carving, tunnel digging, and snow removal. So bundle them up nice and warm, and send them outside to shovel the sidewalk. They'll learn valuable life skills, and your sidewalk will get shoveled for free while you stay nice and warm inside – it's win, win.
  
  
• Allow your children to invite a friend or two over to visit. Let's be honest here, the children are most likely just going to lock themselves in the living room to watch Judge Judy and incessantly ask each other – “I dunno. What do you want to do?”
  
  
• And if all else fails, trick your children into looking the other way and throw a snowball once their backs are turned. Then, simply blame the kids across the street and start a snowball war that will last the entire week. Not only will your children be outside getting fresh air and exercise, but they might also learn that they don't need video games, TVs, and computers to have a good time.