Gotta Love Technology

As my computer recently decided to become most uncooperative, I'm writing today's article from a friend's computer. And though I'll spare you all the painful details of my newest techno-drama, I do think that this experience does provide me with an interesting topic of discussion – what does a person do when the computer isn't working? How does a person decompress after his/her computer crashes and burns? Well, as I am experiencing this problem myself, I suppose this blog will be as much a learning experience for me, as it will be for you. So... here goes:

• First, treat the coronary that you are most likely experiencing as a result of your computer's recent crash. Chew on an aspirin, curl up in the fetal position, and breathe – it's going to be alright... probably.
  
  
• Throw/punch something. You'll be amazed at how much a bit of brute violence can help when you need to alleviate stress. Of course, be certain not to throw your computer. Sure it might make you feel better, but in no way is it going to help the situation. Instead, use that excess anger to your advantage. For example, throwing an English dictionary at your tech support coworkers will not only help you communicate better, but also alleviate some of your stress and motivate them to stop play World of Warcraft for a moment and actually look at your laptop.
  
  
• Forget about the coffee. You're going through techno-withdrawal and a second cup of coffee is going to make you so jittery that you might just have a stroke. So swap that coffee for something that will actually help – like vodka!
  
  
• Misery loves company. So why not throw a techno-free day? If you're the boss, you can do this by simply sending out a memo (handwritten, of course) that instructs all your employees to shut off their computers and work without them today. If necessary, make up some silly excuse about “improving employee communication” or something, and then tell everyone to shut off those computers. And if you're not the boss, then simply go into the server room and unplug a few things to get the party started.
  
  
• And if all else fails, change your attitude. Let's face it, if this whole 2012, end-of-the-world hullaballoo ends up being true, we could all be living in a very different world, very soon – a world devoid of technology such as computers, fax machines, and Twitter accounts. So, simply consider today's techno-crash as a trial-run for when the solar flares hit, the martians land, and the tectonic plates begin to crack up.