Christmas Card Season

It's never too early to begin thinking about Christmas cards. Face it, you only have 24 more days before they officially become past-due, so get on top of them! And to help give you a jump start, I've complied a short list of possible messages that you can inscribe your holiday cards with. Of course, a personal message written from the heart is preferred. But if you have neither the time nor the thoughtfulness to come up with something yourself, then these are some useful suggestions to make Christmas card season all the more stress-free.

• The traditional card:
  Wishing you a bright and
  happy holiday season
  with best wishes for
  a prosperous New Year.
  
  
• The encouragement card:
  With the holiday season swiftly coming near,
  You might give up that diet, that scale, and that workout gear.
  But from me to you, shall I just say,
  Please don't give up cuz you're as big as Santa's sleigh.
  
  
• For that special someone:
  I've hidden mistletoe on my body.
  Merry Christmas my hot little toddy.
  
  
• For the kiddies:
  He sees you when you're sleeping,
  He knows when you're awake,
  He'll break in through your chimney
  So lock your bedroom for goodness sake.
  
  
• And if you cannot help but procrastinate on your Christmas cards:
  Though this card might be a few days late,
  I thought I'd write it anyway cuz you're my mate.
  And if it bothers you that it arrives a bit tardy,
  Let me just say – who do you think you are-dy?
  I do the best I can each year,
  To make sure these cards arrive at Christmas near.
  But sometimes I simply get too busy,
  So don't get all worked up in a tizzy.
  Or do I need to remind you of the year you forgot my birthday?
  You're hardly innocent, nor perfect, nor smelling like any bouquet.
  So get over it and listen as I say my peace:
  Merry Christmas you, your family, and even that mangy mutt you call Reese.

And now that you have a general idea of what to write in those Christmas cards, get to it. It's a simple yet respectable tradition that reminds us all just how polite and civilized the world can be.