The Office Party

December is the season of the office party. And as such, it's also the season of the office party embarrassment. You know what I mean – you drink one too many eggnogs and the next thing you know you're dancing topless on the conference room table with Gary from HR. (Not that I would be speaking from experience, of course.) But all the awkward water cooler gossip, employee behavior reprimands, and photocopied buttocks aside, when a person does commit an office party faux pas, what is he or she to do? How does a person get past the embarrassment and return to work the following day with head held high? Well, that is the topic of today's blog. Below you will find a couple of suggestions to help overcome even the biggest of office embarrassments. Of course, which option you choose to employ depends entirely upon your situation, but I think this list does cover the basics. So here goes:

• Perhaps the easiest solution to any gossip-generating office faux pas is to spread an even dirtier rumor about someone else. For example – “Did you hear about Jeffery and Tanya in the storage closet? With the plunger? And the Tic Tacs?” (You start a conversation like that and nobody will care who you purple-nurpled at the Christmas party.)
  
  
• You can also take a call from your “therapist.” Have a friend call you at work the following day and act out a very loud conversation about how important it is for you to ignore that voice in your head that tells you to burn down the house of anyone who makes fun of you. (This one will scare your coworkers into silence.)
  
  
• Throw an office birthday party for... Well, it doesn't really matter who. Let's face it, if you bring cake into an office, you are king for the day, and nobody will care that you told the boss his hairpiece looks like a swallow's nest.
  
  
• Go into the utility closet and hit the main breaker. Turning the power off and back on should mess up enough of the computers, fax machines, servers, etc. to send everyone into a technology-induced panic attack that will completely erase your embarrassing incident from their minds.
  
  
• And if all else fails, spike the coffee, dig out the camera, and just wait for someone else to do something stupid. Then, capture it on film as proof that you're not the only person to act foolishly at work.

And now that you know how to overcome even the biggest of office faux pas, feel free to have that second, third, or even forth glass of eggnog. Not only will it make the office party more fun for you, but your coworkers will enjoy watching your drunken antics and forever remember the time you attempted to fax your necktie to Cheryl in accounting.