New, New Year's Resolutions

Do you have trouble keeping your New Year's resolutions? If so, it probably means that you are making terrible resolutions. Diets... exercise regiments... toenail clipping – what terrible New Year's resolutions. What is fun about diets and toenail clipping? Nothing. There is nothing fun about diets and toenail clipping, and that is why you don't keep those resolutions. So this year, why not make a new resolution? Why not make a resolution that you might actually keep?

Below you will find a few new, New Year's resolutions. They might sound a little silly at first, but they sure are fun to keep.

• This year I will wear more deodorant, and stop wasting so much time on laundry.
  
  
• I'll stop spending money on that gym membership, and put that money toward something I'll actually use - like a membership to the Mustard of the Month Club.
  
  
• This year, I'll take up a new hobby like yo yo-ing, people watching, or electric toaster collecting.
  
  
• In 2011, I won't call in sick to work when I'm not sick - I'll think up more creative excuses instead.
  
  
• And lastly this year, I resolve to leave the colorectal examinations to the professionals – they're just a pain in the butt anyway.

With resolutions like that, 2011 is sure to be a great year. And now I'm off for the holiday. So, I'll see you back here in the new year.