Christmas Security

Christmas is a time for generosity, and unfortunately it is also a time for crime. Let's face it, many a holiday humbug starts with grinchy characters slunking in through open windows and unlocked backdoors to steal the piles of presents from beneath the tree. And that's not even to mention the flashily dressed fat man and his dwarf-sized minions who seem to have no qualms about breaking and entering each December the 24^th. Actually, when you put it that way, Santa does start to sound an awful lot like a mob boss. Where are all these stocking stuffers coming from anyway? Somehow I think they might have fallen off the back of a truck... But I digress.

Suffice it to say, during the holidays we all need to take a few extra precautions to insure our safety and security. And that security can be as simple as rechecking to make sure all your doors and windows are properly locked, keeping all the presents out of the view of wandering eyes, and stringing empty tin cans all about the house to alert you should anyone break it. (Of course, an electronic security system might be an better and safer option. I would imagine to secure an average American household, a person would need hundreds, if not thousands, of tin cans. And yea... I don't really care for canned soup that much. But it certainly is an idea.)

Another important holiday safety concern is the risk of setting the house afire. Christmas tree lights, festive candles, and chestnut-laden fireplaces can all be fire hazards. And that's not to mention all the combustable alcohols, flaming holiday puddings, and debt-ridden insurance clients with matches and petroleum products that make Christmas one of the most incendiary holidays of the year. But there are a few things to help reduce the risk of unintentional holiday fireworks. First, never leave any open flame unattended – the same is true for Christmas lights. Second, fire extinguishers are a great and useful present to keep under the tree. And third, though your oven might look somewhat like a fireplace; it is not – don't try to burn logs in there.

And my final security concern for today involves the holiday scam. I think if there were just one lesson that we can take from Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, it is that we must say humbug to any charity that doesn't provide legitimate documentation. Just kidding – the real lesson was about Christmas cheer or something... But I do believe Scrooge had a point – all those people kept coming into his office to ask for holiday charity donations, and yet not a single one offered any kind of identification. Sure they said the money was going to the poor, but was it really? And that's why it is so important to make sure that the charities you donate to are legitimate. Never give out any personal or financial information over the Internet or the phone without making sure the person on the other end is truly who they claim to be.

And now that you know a few key safety tips, you should be able to enjoy your Christmas and remain fairly safe while doing so. (Please note the emphasis on the word “fairly.” When it comes to your son's new BB gun and your daughter's new pet ferret – you're on your own.)