Spatchcock-ing Time

The other day, I had a friend (who shall be known from here on as... Anita Bath – purely in the interest of protecting the innocent, of course) ask me how to properly grill a chicken. So I set off a ramblin' about seasoning mixtures, grill temperatures, and the like before nonchalantly instructing Anita to “spatchcock the bird.”

“I beg your pardon?” Anita asked with an expression best described as disgustedly intrigued.

Now, I'll admit, I may have played innocent for a moment out of curiosity for what she would say next. But let me be honest here - I'm well aware of the connotations that the word “spatchcock” brings to mind. I did just finish cooking school, after all – a place where having one's mind in the gutter is not only helpful, but often requisite. In fact, I don't really remember a class when a culinary student didn't shove something inappropriate up a chicken's... cavity? (Yeah, let's just stick with cavity for the purposes of this blog.) But I digress.

“You want me to... spatchcock... the chicken? How do I... I mean... Is that... sanitary?” Anita Bath whispered to me.

“Oh, it's quite sanitary. I do it all the time,” I replied, drowning my laughter with a sip of water.

Well... long story, short, we went on like this for a few moments until I finally told her the true definition of “spatchcock-ing.” You see, the word “spatchcock” is believed to have originated in Ireland, and is a corruption of the phrase “dispatch the cock,” meaning to butcher a rooster and prepare it for dinner.

But for the purposes of chicken grilling, when a chef of cookbook instructs you to “spatchcock the bird,” what he/she/it really means is to cut out the chicken's backbone with a sturdy pair of kitchen shears, flip the bird over so it rests breast-side-up, and then press down on the bird to break the sternum and squash the bird flat. It helps reduce cooking time, as well as allows the entire bird to get beautifully golden, grill-marked, and crispy skin.

Of course, if you have an aversion to dissecting your dinner in such a way, most butchers will be happy to “spatchcock” a chicken or two for you. Just be careful when requesting this of your butcher. “Spatchcock” is a relatively old and unused word. And I take no responsibility should the relationship between you and your butcher become awkward because of someone's dirty mind.