Halloween is perhaps my favorite holiday. And though I realize it is still over a month away, I cannot help but discuss my admiration for Halloween in today's blog posting. You see, after a recent visit to my local grocery store, I discovered that this year's Halloween candy has already hit the store shelves. And if there is one thing I love more than the annual Halloween party, it is the annual Halloween candy binge.
You see, I'm resolute in my belief that Halloween should be a month-long celebration of teeth-rotting proportions. And though I'm sure that statement just sent shivers up the backbones of every dentist in the country through some almost Luke Skywalker-ian disturbance in the dental Force, it is my belief that consuming almost gluttonous amounts of candy at this time of year is not only preferable, but necessary.
The candy companies are doing their best to come up with the most gruesome, delicious, teeth-rotting candies possible to make everyone's Halloween an epic night of sugar-induced ADHD and chocolate-fueled trickery. So it seems only proper to reward those company's hard work by purchasing the chocolate bats, the gummy spiders, and the blood-centered jaw breakers, and start the festivities early. After all, Halloween does only come once every year, so why not enjoy it? Besides, if all your teeth fall out from the excessive candy consumption, you can always stop by the local drug store and pick up a festive pair of vampiric dentures to replace the teeth you've lost.
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