A Pickle Predicament

As anyone who gardens can tell you, fresh vegetables wait for no man. When they have matured, you must harvest them and proceed with one of the following three options:

• consume or preserve
• give away or attempt to sell
• unceremoniously toss into the compost pile to feed next year's crop of gargantuan zucchini

Preferring the first option (not that I have a problem with sharing the crop with friends, family, and the worms/bacteria/and occasional raccoons that rummage about the compost pile), I decided to tackle the cucumbers this morning. And with several baskets of the watery gourds (and yes, cucumbers actually are a member of the gourd family) sitting on the porch for the past few days, I decided to make pickles.

My family happens to love pickles in most (if not all) of their forms. And yet, we seem to be rather alone in that regard. Most people curl their noses up at the sight of the briny spears, preferring to eat a fresh cucumber or nothing at all. Which I think is rather a shame. With so many types of pickles being made from an even larger number of cucumber varieties, it is difficult to believe that a person can feel such a vehement disregard for the pickled treats. And yet, so many do.

Upon further consideration of this question of pickle prejudice, I am left with only one conclusion – it's not that people don't like the pickle, it's that people don't trust the pickler. Who are these people, after all? How can they transform a soon-to-spoil cucumber into a shelf-stable pickle? Why should I trust them? And perhaps even more to the point – what are these people really putting into that vinegary brine (be it intentionally or otherwise)? Let's face it, that listing of “herbs and spices” on the label hardly tells you the information you really want to know. Just ask any college student and he or she will tell you that a variety of potentially dangerous “herbs” have a nasty tendency of sneaking into... special - brownie, cupcake, and even taco recipes.

Unfortunately, I do not have a solution for this apparent distrust for the lowly pickler. And the only advice I can offer is to prepare your own pickled cucumbers. At least in that way, you can trust the pickler and give the vinegary delights, a second chance.