T.G.I.F.

After a long week of [insert your occupation here], it is quite nice to spend Friday evening doing something fun with friends and family. Unless, of course, you are of the more antisocial persuasion. In which case, a quiet glass of wine and a personal ad in the local newspaper will be more to your liking. But assuming that you are like me – that is to say, a shameless ham with a home entertaining fixation – Friday night is a time to open up your home, mix up a large batch of cocktails, and kick back with those you love to share your workplace war stories, spread the town gossip, and laugh quite hysterically about your bosses hideous new toupee.

The Friday night party is a fun and easy way to kick off any relaxing weekend at home. But before you call up all your buddies for that next T.G.I.F.-aplooza, let me give you a few brief tips to help make the most of your Friday night:

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  Make one cash withdrawal from the ATM early in the evening (preferably while sober), and then lock up your debit card in a safe location. This will ensure your bank account will not be drained in some Friday night, alcohol-induced, Oreo-buying, shopping spree.
  
  
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  I've said it before, and I'll say it again – stock up on ketchup, beer, and toilet paper.
  
  
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  Set the bar up next to the front door and serve guests immediately as they arrive. This will save you the time and energy of cleaning the house before the party. Let's be honest here, if the guests get tipsy in the entryway, they're never going to notice the clutter in the living room.
  
  
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  Buy plenty of disposable painter's drop clothes and use them to cover - the carpets, the furniture, the pets... pretty much anything that red wine can stain.
  
  
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  And if you can't pawn the children off on the grandparents for the night, then be sure to set up a kid-friendly room. Pitching a tent underneath the dining room table and stocking it up with fun games, noisy foods, and a greased up piglet should keep them entertained for the evening - while also preventing them from seeing/hearing any of your Friday night indiscretions.

And now that you know the basics of Friday night partying, feel free to pick up the phone and invite some buddies over tonight. You'll be glad you did. Err... Well... You'll be glad you did until you Saturday morning - when you start to scrape the slices of pizza off the ceiling, roll your still intoxicated friend, Jerry, out onto the curb, and shampoo the merlot out of your cat's fur.