New Host/Hostess Gifts

Is it just me, or do the typical host/hostess gifts seem more like a slap in the face than a polite gesture of gratitude? Take the scented candle, for instance. It seems like scented candles are a pretty common host/hostess gift for a guest to bring these days. And yet, every time I receive a scented candle, I cannot help but think – So, you were anticipating that my house was going to stink, were you? Interesting...

And then there is the customary basket of soaps, lotions, and various ointments. Which one would think would convey a message of care and consideration. But let's be honest here, the real message such a basket of toiletries conveys is something more along the lines of – You look dirty. Please bathe before you prepare our dinner.

Well, I suppose I could go on here criticizing all the various host/hostess gifts (and that includes that beautifully beribboned crate of Drano a guest brought to my house one time), but I would not want to appear ungrateful. Like most hosts/hostesses, I do rather enjoy it when a guest arrives bearing gifts. And most of the time I recognize the gift for what it truly is. Which is to say, the gift is notintended to be a firm slap in the face, but rather a polite slap on the back.

But if you're like me and aspire to give host/hostess gifts that are a bit more... politically correct, I've compiled a short listing of some of my favorites below. Of course it depends upon the situation, which gift is best. But I think this list will give you the general idea.

• A book on a subject that interests the host/hostess (especially a beautifully photographed coffee table book – just in case he/she doesn't read English).
  
  
• A low-maintenance plant, such as an aloe vera or cactus (you know – something that your host won't feel too bad about when it dies).
  
  
• Any form of alcohol (which can send the message that you feel a need to consume copious amounts of alcohol to tolerate your visit; but let's be honest, that's probably true of both you and your host/hostess).
  
  
• A framed photo of you and the host/hostess at a previous party/event/outing (preferably a photograph of an enjoyable moment and not the time you interrupted your host's/hostess's wedding vows to announce that you objected to the marriage because you thought it somehow violated the Geneva Convention).
  
  
• An elegant flower vase (because let's face it, one of the other guests isn't going to be nearly so considerate and will simply stop off at the drug store for one of those anemic arrangements of daisies; and your host/hostess will appreciate having something pretty to put those poor flowers in).