The Weight Loss Resolution

Each year, millions of Americans resolve to eat better, exercise more, and lose weight. And I suppose that is to be expected. Christmas is, after all, the season of over-indulgence – the food is rich, the portions are large, and the activity is mostly sedentary. In fact, I would go so far as to propose we rename Christmas to something a little more... descriptive. How does Gain-mass sound to everyone? It might not exactly apply to the religious aspect of the holiday, but it certainly does describe the event's main activity – packing on the pounds. Can't you just see it now - people walking down the streets with fudge, cookies, and cake in-hand, wishing everyone they meet a Merry Gain-mass and a fatter New Year?

But regardless of how much you've berated yourself for buttering that slice of holiday fruitcake or baconing (yes, I'm using bacon as a verb here) that Christmas roast, it is a new year. And that means it is time to forgive your holiday gluttony and start anew with the ambition to lose all that excess weight before next Gain-mass Eve. And so below I have listed a few of my favorite weight-loss tips.

• Take the stairs! When I lived in Italy I was skinny as a rail because I lived on the fifth floor of an elevator-less building. Take the stairs whenever possible!
  
  
• Forget about buying that big, expensive exercise machine. Let's be honest here – you'll use it once, and then it will sit there collecting dust like a monument to shattered weight loss dreams. Instead, find a hobby that involves activity. Sports, martial arts, snowshoeing, hiking, and even vacuuming your house at a fast pace will get you up on your feet and moving.
  
  
• Get a diet buddy. Or better yet, get a diet dog. My diet dog is named Abby, and she sits beside me whining every time I eat. And maybe I'm just a weak person, but I can never resist her big, sad puppy eyes. So inevitably I give her half of whatever is on my plate. (It works out though – I lose weight, she gains weight, and we're both happier for it.)
  
  
• Resolve to buy lunch at that funny-smelling health-foods store at least once a week. Sure the guy behind the counter looks like he hasn't eaten since the 1960s and most of the food tastes strangely of dirt and plastic, but one of those super healthy lunches each week can do wonders for your waistline.
  
  
• Replace all the mirrors in your home with fun-house mirrors. They might not actually make you thinner, but it sure does feel good to look in the mirror and see that you're 8 feet tall with a trim waist and a broad chest.

Of course, talk to your doctor before beginning this or any weight loss regiment. And remember, even if you can't keep your resolution and lose that weight, youcan always get fatter friends who will make you look thinner by comparison.