Autumn Dating

As the days get cooler and the nights longer, you might be on the lookout for that special someone to hunker down with for the winter. And since it has been a while since I covered the topic of dating, I thought that I would provide you today with a few more tips to successful dating:

• Dress for success. Sure, it might be kind of fun to dress up like Lady Gaga or Russell Brand, but somehow I don't think you're going to be asked out for very many seconds dates if you wear lobster hats and/or ridiculous amounts of dirty-pirate brand eye-liner...
  
  
• Don't talk about yourself all the time during the date. Not only does it make you seem self-centered, but it also forces you to come up with all the conversation topics. And let's be honest here, eventually you're going to run out of interesting things to say about yourself, and resort to telling your date stories about how you once made a miniature stuffed poodle out of foot fuzz and pipe cleaners...
  
  
• If you are going out to eat on your date, be sure to eat a light meal before meeting your date. That way if your date takes you to one of those terrible macrobiotic/vegan/fruitarian restaurants that only serves organic wheatgrass juice, tofu, and some house specialty called the Mother Earth Mousse, you will have at least eaten something ahead of time and won't get hungry and cranky during the date.
  
  
• And lastly, if the night is not going well, don't make up some excuse to get away. That's inconsiderate. No instead, just start talking about all of your ex's. After just 15 minutes of listening to you talk about your ex's cankles, stray hairs, and sci-fi fixations, your date will be headed for the door in no time.