Pie Cutting

I must admit, it has already been a bit of a long week for me, but I'll spare you the agony of hearing all the details. Let me just say, it is best to avoid starting an argument with an eggplant whenever possible. (I still have no clue how, but I think I lost that argument...)

All the verbal vegetable abuse aside, I think today I would like to rant about a silly kitchen gadget. You see, after my little spat with that purple potato-wannabe (the eggplant), I went online to do some research and cool down. And that is when a popup came on my computer screen and recommended that I purchase a pair of “pizza scissors.” Yeah... “pizza scissors.” Now, I mean no offense to whomever invented this... unique kitchen gadget. (I really rather like to think of myself as a fair and polite person, who makes fun of everyone equally.) But pizza scissors? Really?

If you haven't seen this particular kitchen gadget – it looks like a wedge-shaped spatula with a pair of scissors strapped to the side. Presumably, it operates by sliding the spatula under the pizza and using the scissors to cut through the crust. It seems reasonable enough. Or at the very least, it seems reasonable until you consider the other possible ways that one could cut a pizza into wedges – namely, a pizza wheel, a large knife, and even a pair of normal scissors (be they strapped to a spatula or otherwise).

But this idea for the “pizza scissors” got me thinking - I've never really had trouble cutting a pizza before, but a pie... now that's another story. I have had trouble slicing up a pie and removing the wedges from the plate without making a mess. And I would imagine that I am not alone in that regard. Maybe it is time for the world's first pair of pie scissors! What a fantastic idea!

And so now I set off with two plans in the works. The first plan being how I should develop my great invention – the pie scissors. And the second plan being how to plot my revenge upon the eggplants.