Forget About It, Or Not...

When I was living in Italy, there was this... eccentric fellow who lived a couple of doors down from my tiny apartment on Via dei Macci. He didn't come out of his apartment very often. Which, of course, begs the question – how did I know he was eccentric? Well, when he did come out of his apartment, he wore an aluminum foil helmet, you see. And not to imply that I am in any way qualified to be commenting on personal style or fashion, but my limited knowledge on the subject does tell me that such metallic wrappings are meant only for leftovers, roasting meats, and Lady Gaga.

Some days this eccentric fellow (whom I shall now refer to as Tin Man in the interest of saving time and keystrokes) would wear the aluminum foil helmet under a fedora. Other days he would cover it with the hood of his sweatshirt. And occasionally, he walked through the market proudly showing off his homemade helmet – all the while blinding the stares of curious tourists in the reflected sunlight.

Most people ignored him, either not noticing the aluminum foil poking out from beneath his hood or simply not caring why this man was decorated like a baked potato. But one day I had the great fortune of watching him interact with this curious American couple.

“Sir, what's wit' that hat of y'urs?” The couple asked with a slight southern drawl.

I'd tell you what he said, but unfortunately my weak Italian language skills precluded the possibility of understanding his ranting response. But what I gathered from his skyward hand gestures and hush-hush tone was that the helmet was protecting his brain from aliens, spy satellites, or some form of micrometeorite impact. Whatever the reason, the Tin Man was protecting his mind with aluminum foil, and I couldn't help but laugh at the irony.

You see, I've pretty much removed aluminum foil from my kitchen. Sure I occasionally use it to line a baking sheet or wrap a roasting turkey, but most of the time I prefer to use something else. And why is that? A few years ago I read a series of articles that concluded that excessive usage of aluminum foil in cooking may play a part in the development of Alzheimer's Disease. (Please note the emphasis on the word – may.) I don't remember all the details, but it had something to do with the body absorbing aluminum foil over years, and the brain getting gunked up with the stuff – I really don't know. But regardless of the articles' debates, I read somewhere that aluminum foil might make you forget your life, so I reduced my usage of the stuff (better safe, than senile – I always say).

But I suppose, like anything, aluminum foil is a matter for culinary debate. Some will tell you it's harmless. Others will say it'll kill ya. And still more think it is the solution to alien brain waves, telepathic spy satellites, and all those pesky micrometeorites that seem to hit Tin Man's forehead so very often. Unfortunately, I do not have the true answer for you. All I can say is aluminum foil might make you forget, but then again it might not. So I leave it up to you. I'm a resolute believer in – everything in moderation – and yet I can't help but think that an aluminum foil helmet is... too much. But hey... To each their own, right?