The Fix for Offended Dinner Guests

I think we've all been in this situation before: you're hosting a great dinner party and everything is going perfectly, but then Uncle Larry shows up and offends half of the dinner guests with his foot fungus and apply jelly story... Well don't worry. Regardless of how uncomfortable your dinner guests may now feel, you can still save the remainder of your evening. Simply review the tips that I've provided below, and select which option is best for you.

• Immediately change the subject to a topic that everyone will appreciate. I would suggest starting a conversation on such topics as: bacon; why Rhode Island is named in such a manner (it's neither a road nor an island...); and which of your children you would most likely sell to the circus...
  
  
• Bring a small creature into the room. Let's be honest here, nobody can stay upset when there is a puppy, kitten, baby, or piglet in the room. And if you don't have a puppy, kitten, baby, or piglet to bring into the room, then run across the street and borrow the neighbor's for a moment.
  
  
• Yell out the words, “change places!” And then play an impromptu game of musical chairs. With any luck your dinner guests will have too much fun in the commotion to remember the awkward conversation.
  
  
• Serve something with bacon. Nobody can stay angry when there's bacon to be eaten.
  
  
• And if all else fails, sniff the air and ask “Is something burning?” Then, rush out of the room and don't return until your dinner guests have either resolved their differences or left.