End of Days, Part XX

As this is my twentieth installment in this series of End-of-the-Mayan-Calendar entertaining tips, I think it is a good day to remind you that party throwing is something to be enjoyed, not dreaded.  So with that thought in mind, let me offer you a few tips that should help take the stress out of your Armageddon party planning.

• When it comes to planning that perfect menu, remember - whatever you make is going to taste infinitely better than the birch bark bread and grub butter sandwiches your guests will be eating during their post-apocolyptic lives.

• If you can't find an interesting group of people to invite to your end-of-days party, don't worry.  That means there will be fewer people weighing down your ark when the world floods in a most Noah's Ark-ian manner.

• When deciding on the perfect decorations for your party, forget about all the expensive and labor-intensive decorations you find in popular magazines.  Instead, keep things simple and decorate the house with affordable, practical decorations, like Twinkie garlands and battery-operated lanterns.

• And lastly, if you don't think you'll be able to lose the weight and fit into that two-sizes-too-small party outfit you've selected, don't worry.  After the zombies rise, you'll be getting plenty of exercise running for you life.  If you don't fit into that outfit at party time, you certainly will soon after...