Tooth Decay and Other Side Effects

Did you eat so much candy last night that your teeth still hurt? If the answer is yes, let me be the first to congratulate you on properly celebrating All Hallow's Eve. Also allow me to express my sympathy – the post-Halloween sugar withdrawal that you are about to experience is... annoying, at best. But fortunately for you, I have a few tips to help ease the pain of that sweet tooth ache, settle that queasy stomach, and dull your throbbing headache.

Let's start with what is perhaps the most common post-Halloween withdrawal symptom - the candy-induced tooth ache. I've heard some people describe the pain as being similar to having sandpaper rubbed over your enamel or your gums poked with the crook of a metal coat hanger. As I have never had the experience of sandpaper or coat hangers in my mouth (not really sure what kind of person has), I'll just take their word for it and suggest a few ways to help.

First, you might think that smearing a generous glob of toothpaste all over your smile and allowing it to set for a while might be comparable to a facial mask – providing a deep down clean – but it doesn't. (Turns out toothpaste really only works its wonders when combined with the efforts of a proper toothbrush and some floss. Besides, who really wants to stand around their bathroom for ten minutes, drooling as your teeth marinate in the minty-fresh paste?) But one thing that does help is a good, vigorous rinsing with warm, salty water - the saltier, the better. The solution will help rinse away any remaining candy remnants, as well as clean any bacterial infections left behind.

Onions can also help with that tooth ache. Onions have natural antibacterial properties. So by munching on a slice or two of onion, one can help clean out the germs and reduce the amount of Halloween tooth decay. Of course, if the thought of chewing up a few raw onions doesn't appeal to you (as I would imagine it wouldn't), then I suggest you attempt to dull the pain of your aching tooth by eating something cold. Ice cream, for example, can numb the pain without causing the severe case of onion breath.

As for the upset stomach and head ache that so many of us experience after a long night of candy and alcohol, I recommend a good swift shot of Pepto and some aspirin. Let's face it, the more common remedies for such afflictions (such as a glass of ginger ale or a cup of herbal tea) are probably just going to cause more tooth decay. And our teeth have had enough abuse for one day.