Move Over Palin, I'm Throwin' a Tea Party

Happy Election Day everyone! And before I get into today's blog topic, allow me to encourage you all to get out and vote. Regardless of your political leanings – be they stubborn as an elephant or intransigent as a donkey, Election Day is your one chance to voice your opinion and have it count. Though there are times when it may seem that your one vote is but a raindrop in a turbulent ocean, it is important. After all, when else does someone ask for your opinion and actually listen to it? Let's face it, despite the advent of social media (technology that has everyone now talking), it seems more and more all the time that nobody is actually listening to what is said. But on Election Day that all changes – not only is someone listening, that someone is soliciting your advice. So get out and vote! (Err... Well... Get out and vote after reading the rest of today's posting, that is.)

So now that my public service announcement is complete, allow me to continue with today's topic – election night entertaining. I always like to throw some sort of election night party. And though I am not a particularly political individual (I've always believed a certain measure of political correctness is requisite to be a political person, and I love to laugh far too much to ever worry about political correctness), I do rather like to celebrate the end of all those nasty political attack ads and boring candidate debates with a simple celebration.

This year I'm planning a small, civilized tea party. And though I don't happen to be a particular fan of the delicate little finger sandwiches and dry scones that are so commonly required at the civilized tea party, I do believe it is a nice way to end this election year. After all, how many times this year were you invited to a tea party only to find out that you were really signing up for a boring, hour-long spiel about some... political thing? Talk about false advertising – invite me to a tea party and don't even serve tea. It's rather like sitting through one of those high-pressure time-share presentations to get the free gift, and yet not get the free gift. But I digress...

To host your own Election Night tea party be sure to keep a few things in mind. First, since the final results of the election are often not announced until late into the night, be sure to have a wide selection of caffeine-free teas on hand. We don't want any of the guests to be kept awake all night by excessive caffeine consumption. Second, stock up on alcohol. Should your preferred candidate not win his/her race, a generous splash of Bailey's will help soothe your disappointment. And third, tea parties are civilized occasions. So it is best to avoid touchy political topics like same-sex marriage and abortion. Should a few of your guests become embroiled in such a heated political debate, lighten the mood with some form of bacon-topped hors d'oeurve and an interpretive dance set to humorous music. I mean really – who could keep a straight face when you're serving bacon-wrapped scallops and flailing to the song “It's Raining Men” by The Weather Girls?

So now that you know the basics of political tea partying, enjoy your Election Night, and don't forget to vote. I'm Nathan Scott, and I approved this message.