Techno-Withdrawal

You always want what you can't have. Isn't that just how it always is? For instance - our cable is on the fritz this week, and though I would normally consider myself to possess only the slightest case of TV addiction, I find it completely annoying that I can't watch anything today. I'm practically going through techno-withdrawal at the moment, even despite the fact that I rarely watch much of anything on Tuesdays... (Side effects of techno-withdrawal include: sleeplessness, hair loss, weight gain, depression, chipped tooth, numb tongue, spontaneous nose hair growth, “Hogan's Heroes” flashbacks, “Gilligan's Island” Syndrome – feeling of being alone on a desert island, terminal boredom, coma, death, and the adoption of unhealthy hobbies such as bandaid collecting, stop sign licking, and toe-jam picking.) So in the interest of treating my techno-withdrawal, I have compiled a list of possible treatment options. Enjoy!

• Sit on the sofa with the TV remote in your hand and turn the TV off and on until it finally works. (You might need to take a week off for this one...)
  
  
• Purchase a cheap fax machine at a garage sale and take a baseball bat to it to work out some of the stress.
  
  
• Attempt to do some basic math problems to remind yourself just how clueless technology has made us all.
  
  
• Visit a nearby Amish community and be grateful that you don't live in a world that requires butter churning, horse poo shoveling, and scraggly bread growing...
  
  
• And lastly, if all else fails – get outside and enjoy the autumn.