Sorry I Made You Allergic...

Despite our best efforts, there are times when we can't help but forget our own ingredients. And before you know it, you're feeding your crab-laced potato surprise to your crustacean-intolerant cousin. And while he's breaking out in hives and falling to the floor to gasp for air like a fish out of water, you think - “Oh yeah, my potato surprise does have shellfish in it. Oops...” It happens to the best of us.

Well today, I'll share with you a few ways to apologize for such potentially hazardous culinary oversights. Of course, which option you select is dependent upon the sense of humor of your anaphylactic victim. But I think there is something here to suit the tastes of most allergic dinner guests.

• Of course, the obvious answer is a heartfelt apology detailing your negligent oversight and great remorse at causing your culinary victim any undo discomfort. This is, of course, served alongside a polite offer to pay for any associated medical fees, and a legally binding waiver that prevents the still woozy victim from pursuing any legal action.
  
  
• Tell your culinary victim of any food allergies you might have. Not only will this give you an opportunity to bond over the experience, but it might also give your victim a few retaliatory ideas to dish up at your next dinner party. (And with that said, I also recommend that you carry some allergy medicine with you and save the number of the nearest ER on your cellphone just in case your victim decides to bake you a wonderfully vengeful peanut surprise...)
  
  
• Offer to pay for a tasteful “I am allergic to ” tattoo. The tattoo can be placed on your culinary victim's hands, arms, chest, or forehead and serve as a permanent reminder that he/she is in fact allergic to .
  
  
• And if all else fails - blame the kids. A simple - “I'm so sorry, Andrew. I have no idea how the walnuts got into your salad. Maybe the kids were playing in the kitchen when I wasn't looking...” always works, because let's face it, who can really get mad at a child? All they have to do is dig out the puppy dog eyes and say “I'm sowwy,” and all is forgiven...

I hope that helps. And best wishes to your culinary victim on his/her speedy recovery.