St. Patrick's Day 101

With St. Patrick's Day just around the corner, I thought that today I would provide you with a few key tips to make this holiday special. So, here we go:

• Dress for success. If you enjoy wearing green on St. Patty's Day – wear as much of it as you can. Let's be honest, after the festivities commence, nobody is going to care that your lime green socks clash with your olive green scarf, hunter green shirt, and puke green beer helmet. And if you do not enjoy wearing green on St. Patty's Day (or simply haven't done laundry in a while), go out and purchase one of those white t-shirts that reads “Kisses, not pinches,” and enjoy the perks – or should I say pecks – of not wearing green.
  
  
• Use digression when dying foods with green food coloring. A chocolate cake is beautiful when iced in a thick layer of mint-green frosting. While a similarly colored biscuit, soda bread, or scone simply looks moldy.
  
  
• Don't forget to stock up on green beer, ketchup, and toilet paper.
  
  
• Stay away from the stout floats. Sure, a pint of Guinness topped off with a scoop of vanilla ice cream sounds thoroughly festive. But it's also thoroughly disgusting. And if you think it tastes bad on the way down, just imagine how it will taste on the way back up. (Not that I would be speaking from experience, of course...)
  
  
• And finally, remember that St. Patrick's Day is not just about beer. The Irish are a creative and hardworking people. And there is so much more to the Irish culture than just Guinness. They also make really great whiskey!