The First Date Flub Up

With springtime quickly approaching (hopefully, anyway), more and more people will be getting out of the house and meeting new people. Which means, many of us will soon be going on one or more awkward first date(s). And though I really don't know any good tips to help make that first date any less awkward, I do have a few suggestions that might help, should you put your foot in your mouth and unintentionally compare your date to a drunken donkey, soggy squirrel, or half-baked teenage trombonist.

First, no matter what you said (even if it really is the truth), the moment you put your foot in your mouth – APOLOGIZE. Don't try to explain your point or your line of thought – you'll just be digging yourself in deeper. Let's be honest, your date's laugh probably does sound exactly like a bickering pair of barn owls, but that is not what she/he wants to hear. So apologize and blame it on the brain aneurism that you are now going to pretend you have.

Second, call over the waiter and ask for one of every dessert the restaurant serves. Nothing smoothes over a tense situation more than a slice of cheesecake garnished with a brownie, strawberry shortcake, bread pudding, and an eclair.

Third, try a little self-deprecating humor, and encourage your date to join in on the fun. How can a person stay mad at you after you tell them about the time you drunkenly misplaced your pants and had to walk-of-shame your way across the college great lawn wearing nothing more than a poorly tailored garbage bag? (Not that I would be speaking from experience, of course.)

And if all else fails, try physically putting your foot in your mouth. Your date will either find the bit of physical comedy amusing and start laughing, or be disgusted and immediately leave (effectively ending the already ruined date). And if your date finds the whole foot-in-mouth thing oddly appealing? Well... you should probably leave immediately.

Best of luck.