Gym Food

Have you ever been working out at the gym and thought, “Man, I could really go for a cheeseburger right now!” Well, if you haven't I suspect that you're either vegetarian, Hindu, or lying about exercising at the gym. So for all you people out there (like me) who do dream about eating on the treadmill, I'll offer you a few culinary suggestions that should make your workout much more enjoyable.

• Most foods that can be eaten with one's hands, such as hotdogs, pizza, and sloppy joes, are great to eat on the treadmill. But I do recommend avoiding eating bananas. A dropped banana peel can become a very slippery treadmill hazard...
  
  
• Pushups are a great opportunity for apple bobbing - especially, if those apples are first dipped in caramel...
  
  
• Doughnuts are a great way to encourage yourself to do more situps. Simply string a doughnut up over a workout mat and start doing situps underneath. You'd be amazed how many more situps you can do when the reward is another bite of everyone's favorite deep-fried breakfast treat.
  
  
• Who needs a set of free weights, when a 25-pound wheel of Parmesan will accomplish the same goal while providing a tasty mid-rep reward?
  
  
• And riding that stationary exercise bike is a great chance to try out that new chocolate fountain you bought. Not only can the fountain be easily positioned next to the bike, but the sound of the running chocolate will make you feel like you are biking along a babbling brook - rather than going nowhere, fast.

I hope these ideas help make your gym experience a little more pleasant. And if anyone gives you a hard time about eating while you exercise, simply remind that person that eating on the treadmill is much healthier than eating on the sofa...