Wednesday, August 1, 2012

End of Days, Part XXVI


When planning your End-of-the-Mayan-Calendar Party, it is important to select the right location for your party.  Sure it might be convenient to host the party in the comforts of your own home.  But is that truly the best location?  After all, this might very well be the last party you ever host.  So, it's important to choose the perfect location for your end-of-the-world party.  And in an effort to help you select that perfect party site, allow me to offer the following advice.


  • Never host your party in a valley, lowland, or gravel pit.  If/when the world floods in a most Noah's Ark-ian manner, you and your dinner guests will not want to find themselves at the bottom of a newly formed ocean.
  • If you live in Antarctica, you might consider moving your party to a different continent.  Should the Sun explode on December 21st, you and your guests are not going to want to be anywhere near the Hole in the Ozone Layer - you might get a little sunburnt.
  • Be sure to avoid hosting your Armageddon party near a cemetery.  If/when the zombies start to roam freely, you and your party guests will not want to find yourselves being the first items on the the all-you-can-eat brain buffet.
  • And lastly, if you live in or near a corn field, you might want to consider hosting your party elsewhere.  otherwise, if/when the aliens land you may find yourself on the receiving end of a rather unpleasant probe.  

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