End of Days, Part VIII

Assuming that the Mayan Calendar is correct and the world ends in December of this year, I think it's probably reasonable to assume all you singles out there will want to find that special someone before the aliens land, the locus swarm, and the sun flares.  After all, when the zombies start roaming freely, you're going to need someone to watch your back.  And who better to do that than a significant other?  So in the interest of helping you find a special someone to hold hands with as the world ends, allow me to provide a few bits of dating advice.

• Forget about those clubs, bars, and singles nights.  We're finding you a mate that can survive the apocalypse.  So check out the army surplus stores, camping supply stores, and sportsmen's clubs.  Because let's be honest here - if anyone can survive a zombie apocalypse, it's the people at the army surplus store...

• Steer clear of anyone who actually believes the world is going to end on December 21st.  Trust me - if the world does happen to end by some weird coincidence, you do not want to spend the rest of your post-apocalyptic life with the "I told you so" person.

• Look for someone with practical skills, such as cooking, sewing, farming, and squirrel trapping.  

• And if all else fails, get a dog.  Not only will that dog provide you with companionship during the long nuclear winter, but he'll also provide for some entertainment and comic relief.  After all, when the world ends, there really won't be much else to do other than play games of fetch the zombie arm and chase the tumbleweed.