Back to Work

After a week of vacation, it can sometimes be quite difficult to get back to work. Let's be honest here - we'd all rather be basking in the warming sunlight on some sandy beach, rather than laboring under the flickering fluorescents in some cramped office. So if you're finding it difficult to get back into office work mode, try one of the tips provided below. They might seem a little silly at first, but they should help make that first day back at the office a little more enjoyable.

• Purchase one of those inflatable kiddie pools and bring it to the office. Then, when it's time for your break, skip the water cooler and go swimming (or at the very least splashing) instead. Not only will this provide for a bit of fun and relaxation, but it will also be an opportunity to show off your skimpy new swim suit to Janice in accounting...

• It would most likely be inappropriate to drink any sort of umbrellaed cocktail at the office. But that doesn't mean you can't put those little cocktail umbrellas in all your other drinks! Coffee... soda... water... even chicken noodle soup can all be made much more festive with a simple cocktail umbrella.

• Bring a reclining lawn chair to the office. You would be amazed how relaxing a day at the office can be when you're working from your new office lawn chair...

• Forget about that big presentation and show a vacation picture slideshow instead. Sure nobody actually likes to look at other people's vacation photos... But when the alternative is a 60-minute presentation on the latest advancements in chopstick manufacturing, I think most people would prefer to see your vacation photos.

• And lastly, if all else fails, call in sick and enjoy one final day off before returning to work - tomorrow.

I hope these tips help. And enjoy your first week back to work!

Clam and Corn Chowder

OPEN KITCHEN with NATHAN SCOTT

Clam and Corn Chowder

This quick-cooking chowder is a delicious soup to prepare during the hot summer months.

Ingredients

            Serves 4 to 6

	8	ounces salt pork, cut into ¼-inch cubes
	1	small onion, peeled and chopped
	4	stalks celery, chopped
	8	cloves garlic, peeled and minced
	2	bay leaves
	2	sprigs fresh thyme, leaves picked
	1	pound fingerling potatoes, cut into bite-sized pieces
	1	quart homemade chicken stock, or low-sodium canned chicken broth
	1	pound littleneck clams, scrubbed
	2	cups (about 3 ears) fresh or frozen corn
	pinch	baking soda
	1	can (15 ounces) evaporated milk
		Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
		Fresh chives, chopped, for garnish

Directions

1.    In a large stockpot set over medium heat, cook the salt pork, stirring often, until crispy.  Then, using a slotted spoon, transfer the salt pork to a paper towel-lined plate to drain. 

2.    Pour off all but 1 tablespoon of the salt pork drippings and return the stockpot to the heat.  Add the onion and celery to the stockpot and cook, stirring often, until the onions are translucent, 4 to 6 minutes.  Add the garlic, bay, and thyme leaves and cook an additional minute.  Add the potatoes and chicken stock.  Bring to a boil, and then reduce to a simmer.  Cook, stirring occasionally, until the potatoes are tender, about 20 minutes.

3.    Increase the heat to medium-high and bring to a boil.  Add the clams and corn to the stockpot.  Cover the pot and cook until the clams have opened, 5 to 8 minutes.  

4.    Remove the cover and reduce to a simmer.  Stir in the pinch of baking soda, followed by the evaporated milk.  Simmer until hot.  Season to taste with salt and black pepper.  Then, ladle into serving bowls and garnish with a sprinkling of salt pork and freshly chopped chives.

Citrus-Glazed Grilled Salmon

The citrus glaze recipe, provided below, may also be used to glaze roast hams, chickens, or ducks, making it an incredibly versatile and easy-to-prepare recipe to add to your repertoire.

Ingredients

            Serves 4

		Olive oil, for brushing
		Juice of 4 navel oranges
		Zest of 1 navel orange, cut into thin strips (optional)
		Juice of 2 limes
	½	cup honey
	2	slices (¼-inch each) fresh ginger, peeled
	¼	teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (optional)
	2	scallions, thinly sliced, plus more for garnish
		Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
	4	center-cut salmon fillets (6 to 8 ounces each)

Directions

1. Preheat the grill to medium-high heat, and brush the grate with olive oil.  In a small saucepan, combine the orange juice and orange zest with the lime juice, honey, ginger, and crushed red pepper flakes.  Place the saucepan over medium-high heat and bring the mixture to a boil.  Reduce to a simmer and cook, stirring often, until the mixture has thickened to a glaze-like consistency, 10 to 15 minutes. 

2. Remove the saucepan from the heat and discard the slices of ginger.  Stir in the scallions, and season the glaze to taste with salt and black pepper.  Spoon half of the citrus glaze over the salmon fillets, coating the flesh of the fish well.  Season the salmon fillets with additional salt and black pepper.

3. Arrange the salmon, skin-side-down, on the preheated grill.  Grill the fish for 5 minutes.  Then, spoon the remaining citrus glaze over the salmon fillets, and continue to grill until the fish is cooked through, another 3 to 5 minutes.  Remove the finished salmon from the grill and transfer the fillets to a serving platter.  Garnish with a sprinkling of freshly sliced scallions and serve immediately.

Food for Weeding

I don't know about you, but I think there is nothing that I dread more than weeding the garden. I know it must be done, and I certainly do appreciate the look of a well manicured garden. But I just think it's such boring a chore. And so like all my boring chores, I try to find ways to incorporate food and eating into the mix - in an effort to take some of the agony out of the work. So today I'll offer you a few weeding the garden recipe ideas:

•   S'mores are a perfect weeding the garden food. Not only is it an excuse to have a campfire and burn all those weeds you so despise, but all that sugar should make you a speedy weeding machine. Well... Either that or a ADHD weeding machine...


•   A garden salad (if you're into the healthy sort of foods...) is also a good weeding the garden food choice. Should you find any wild greens, you can simply mix them into the salad and enjoy your weeds with a delightful douse of vinaigrette.


•   Corn dogs are always a good choice because you can easily eat them without removing your dirty gardening gloves.


•   A beer helmet filled with lemonade makes for a refreshing summertime sip. (And if a little vodka should find it's way into the lemonade – all that weeding becomes a lot more entertaining...)


•   And perhaps the best weeding the garden food of all time is – gummy worms. Because let's face it – all your nosy neighbors are watching you weed the garden, and you might as well give them something to talk about: “You know what I saw? I saw him eat a worm straight from his garden! That crazy hippie chef...”

The End of Days Party, Part XXV

Continuing on with my series of doomsday party tips, I thought that I would take a few moments today to discuss one of the finer points of entertaining – selecting the guest list. This issue is particularly important to successful doomsday partying. Let's be honest here – if the Mayan calendar is correct and December 21st does mark the end of civilization as we know it, you could be spending the rest of your post-apocalyptic life with your dinner guests. And if you don't like those guests, it could be a very long post-apocalyptic life, indeed. So to help prevent that unfortunate event, allow me to offer you the following guest list planning tips:

•   Be sure to invite a few especially strong people. They come in handy when you need to build a log cabin, haul firewood, and/or fight zombies.


•   Be sure to invite a few especially weak people. That way when the zombies eventually overpower the strong people and start chasing you, you'll be able to outrun the weaklings and get to safety.


•   Never invite Hannibal Lecter, the Korowai tribe of New Guinea, or members of the Donner Party to your Doomsday party. When the food supply runs out, they'll make a new one...


•   Always invite MacGuyver. Not only can he build a shopping mall out of a Q-Tip and some duct tape, but his mullet makes for some post-apocalyptic comic relief.

Ten Gifts for that Special Prisoner

The summertime is also a great time to visit all those incarcerated friends and family members that you never get to see. And if you are in need of a gift idea for that special prisoner, look no further than today's blog. I have a list of ten gift ideas that any prison inmate will be thrilled to receive.

Ten Gifts for that Special Prisoner

• Two-ply toilet paper – after 50 years to life of single-ply toilet paper, that special prisoner will really appreciate the two-ply strength and softness.

• An alibi – this is the gift that keeps on giving long after that subsequent appeal hearing.

• Some saltwater taffy – it lasts a long time and is an effective way to get the taste of that prison slop out of one's mouth.

• A new toothbrush – not only will this help fight plaque and gingivitis, but can be easily fashioned into a shank should the need arise.

• A hilarious “Get Out of Jail Free” card from a Monopoly game – if they don't think this is funny, at least you'll still have the bars between you...

• Soap on a rope – no explanation needed there...

• Some corn dogs – because let's face it, nothing says watch your back quite like a corn dog...

• A pet rock, named Sharon Stone – if all else fails she'll be useful in a prison riot.

• A mattress pee cover – you think hotel mattresses are dirty...

A candy-filled Christmas stocking – because let's face it, that special prisoner hasn't seen a calendar in years. He/she has no clue it's not Christmas. So why not nail two birds with one stone, eh?

The Beach Party

With the days getting hotter and hotter, you might be in the mood to hit the beach. So why not host a beach party? It's really quite simple... Err, well... It's quite simple in Maine. If you live in a landlocked state like... oh, let's say – Nebraska – a beach party might also involve the installation of a swimming pool, a couple of truckloads of sand, some shattered nerves, and probably the eventual purchase of a couple of plane tickets to a coastal state... But assuming that you don't live in Nebraska, a beach party is a fun and easy summer party idea. And today, I'll offer you a few tips that should make the experience even more enjoyable.

• Don't over think the menu. It's a beach party! Sure, it might be fun to have a seven-course dinner on the beach. But unless you intend to bring a refrigerator along with you, I think it's best to stick with the basics – some sandwiches, a salad or two, and a few dozen cookies.
• Also, keep in mind that beach parties are meant to be fun and lighthearted. So, it is the perfect time to break out that “Kiss the Cook” barbecue apron, t-shirt, or baseball cap. It is not, however, the time to break out that “Kiss the Cook” speedo...
• Stock up on beer, ketchup, and toilet paper.
•  Hire a lifeguard. Aside from the fact that you don't want anyone to get hurt at your beach party, a lifeguard makes a great beach party decoration! Especially when that lifeguard looks like someone from the cast of “Baywatch,” if you know what I mean...
• And lastly, DON'T FORGET THE SUNSCREEN! Trust me – if you've ever thought that a leg of lamb smells a little funky when it's overcooked, try sitting next to all 300-pounds of sunburnt Uncle Larry the next time you're driving the 30 minutes home from the beach... DON'T FORGET THE SUNSCREEN!

Chicken Enchiladas

OPEN KITCHEN with NATHAN SCOTT

Chicken Enchiladas

If you don’t like or can’t find tomatillos, an equal amount of green tomatoes may be substituted.

Ingredients

            Serves 4

	2	whole (4 split) bone-in, skin-on chicken breasts, patted dry
	1	tablespoon olive oil
		Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
	1	pound (about 8) tomatillos, husks removed, rinsed, and halved
	1	white onion, peeled and cut into ½-inch slices
	1	jalapeño, halved and seeds removed (optional)
	4	cloves garlic, unpeeled
	¼	cup fresh cilantro, chopped
	1	tablespoon freshly squeezed lime juice
	1	teaspoon ground cumin
	12	corn tortillas (6 inches each), warmed
	8	ounces Cheddar Jack cheese, shredded

Directions

1.    Preheat the oven to 375°F.  Arrange the chicken breasts on a parchment-lined baking sheet.  Drizzle the chicken with the olive oil and season with salt and black pepper.  Roast the chicken in the preheated oven for 20 minutes.  Then, arrange the tomatillos, onion, jalapeño, and garlic around the chicken.  Continue to roast until the chicken is cooked through and the vegetables are tender, 15 to 20 minutes more.  Remove and cool until easy to handle.

2.    Discard the husks from the garlic, and transfer the cloves to the bowl of a food processor, fitted with the steel blade attachment.  Add in the tomatillos, onion, jalapeño, cilantro, and lime juice.  Pulse until the mixture is well pureed.  Season with salt and black pepper.

3.    Shred the chicken into a mixing bowl (discarding the skin and bones).  Stir the cumin, as well as 1 cup of the tomatillo salsa, into the chicken.  Season with salt and black pepper.

4.    Pour the remaining tomatillo salsa into a shallow dish.  Dip the warm tortillas in the salsa, coating both sides with the salsa.  Fill each tortilla with some of the chicken mixture, and arrange the enchiladas, seam-side-down, in a 9-by-13-inch baking dish.  Top the enchiladas with any remaining tomatillo salsa, and sprinkle with the cheese.  Bake in the preheated 375°F oven until the cheese is hot and bubbly, about 15 minutes.   

Taking the Hard Out of Hard-Boiled

In the store the other day, I saw this product that claimed to “take the hassle out of hard-boiling an egg.” Right... Well, I don't know about you, but I've never had a problem with hard-boiling eggs. You put the egg in water, you boil it, and TA-DA! Now, granted, it does take a few minutes to boil. And peeling the hard-boiled egg can get a little messy. But is any of that truly difficult? Really, the only challenge is knowing when to take the egg out of the water. And even then, what's the worse thing that could happen? The egg overcooks a bit, and you end up with that ugly green patina around the yolk. Oh no! Somebody call 911, there's a green patina on my yolk! I mean, really?

Well, for some reason I picked up the package and read some of the gadget's directions. Which were fairly basic – crack egg into the gadget, screw the thing shut, and toss into a pot of boiling water to hard-boil. Basically, they're the same directions as provided above, only in this case you crack the egg open before you cook it. And it made no mention of overcooking the egg to a green patina. So it fails to even address the most challenging aspect of egg hard-boiling.

Needless to say, I didn't purchase the gadget. And to the people who created the gadget – nice try, but I think I'll be keeping my $1.50.

End of Days, Part XXIV

When planning your End-of-the-Mayan-Calendar Party, it is important to select the right location for your party.  Sure it might be convenient to host the party in the comforts of your own home.  But is that truly the best location?  After all, this might very well be the last party you ever host.  So, it's important to choose the perfect location for your end-of-the-world party.  And in an effort to help you select that perfect party site, allow me to offer the following advice.

• Never host your party in a valley, lowland, or gravel pit.  If/when the world floods in a most Noah's Ark-ian manner, you and your dinner guests will not want to find themselves at the bottom of a newly formed ocean.

• If you live in Antarctica, you might consider moving your party to a different continent.  Should the Sun explode on December 21st, you and your guests are not going to want to be anywhere near the Hole in the Ozone Layer - you might get a little sunburnt.

• Be sure to avoid hosting your Armageddon party near a cemetery.  If/when the zombies start to roam freely, you and your party guests will not want to find yourselves being the first items on the the all-you-can-eat brain buffet.

• And lastly, if you live in or near a corn field, you might want to consider hosting your party elsewhere.  otherwise, if/when the aliens land you may find yourself on the receiving end of a rather unpleasant probe.