Wedding Planning, Part V

Compiling your guest list is perhaps one of the most politically-charged elements of the entire wedding planning process. I mean - do you invite Uncle Larry's wife or his mistress? Is it acceptable to seat your foul-smelling cousin Joseph at the children's table? And what about your Great-Aunt Carol? Do you think they will give her a free pass to leave the mental institution of the day, or would it be better if her invitation simply becomes “lost in the mail?” Well with questions like that, it is no wonder why people find guest list planning to be so difficult. But don't worry. Today, I'll share with you a few key tips that should help make your guest list planning a little less of a headache.

First, remember that this is your wedding. And if you don't like 'em, you don't have to invite 'em. Sure you might have to deal with some hurt feelings and/or passive-aggressive rumor starting, but deal with all that after the wedding. Face it, if you fill your wedding guest list with all the people you don't like, yet feel some obligation to invite, you're not going to enjoy your wedding day. (Especially when your socially-awkward cousin Harold decides that your wedding is the appropriate time and place to announce his undying love for his pet poodle, Bubbles...) So, fill your guest list with the friends and family that you want to share your special day with. And deal with the rest later.

Second, always invite the significant other. And I know this tip seems to contradict my previous tip, but let's be honest here – if you want your college buddy to attend the wedding (and remain your college buddy in the future), then you must invite his/her significant other. And forget about that whole - boy, girl, boy, girl – seating arrangement. Let's face it, in this day and age chances are not all of the couples are going to be boy, girl...

And third, use social media carefully. Sure, it might seem like a good idea to set up a wedding events page on Facebook. But if you're not careful, you'll end up with every Facebook stalker, wedding crasher, and poor college student in the state attending your wedding for the free food, open bar, and plethora of available and/or easy wedding guests. And you'll forever look at your wedding photos and ask yourself - who was that little bald man who ate all the shrimp cocktail?

Well, I hope these tips help you plan the guest list for your wedding. And until next week, I wish you good luck with all your wedding plans.

Chipotle-Beef Tacos

CHIPOTLE-BEEF TACOS

Today, I'll be sharing with you an authentic recipe for Chipotle-Beef Tacos. It's easier than you might think, and the addition of chipotle chiles in adobo sauce gives these tacos a real kick.

Serves 4

1	can (7-ounces) chipotle chiles en adobo
4	cloves garlic, peeled and smashed
1	tablespoon ground cumin
1	teaspoon dried oregano
	Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1	1-pound skirt or flank steak, trimmed
1	medium avocado, halved, peeled, pitted and cut into ½-inch cubes
1	medium tomato, cored and cut into ½-inch cubes
4	radishes, trimmed, halved, and thinly sliced
2	tablespoons fresh cilantro, coarsely chopped, plus more for garnish
1	tablespoon freshly squeezed lime juice, plus 1 lime cut into wedges, for garnish
8	corn or flour tortillas (6-inches each), warm

Preheat the broiler and move the oven rack so it sets approximately 4 inches from the heat. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil and set aside. In the bowl of a food processor or blender, combine the chiles en adobo with the garlic, cumin, and oregano. Pulse until the mixture is smooth, and then season with salt. Brush both sides of the steak with some of the chile mixture. (Go according to your taste here. If you like a lot of spice then slather the sauce on. If you don't like a lot of heat, then brush on a very thin coating.)

Arrange the steak on the prepared baking sheet. Broil, without turning, until well browned, 6 to 8 minutes for medium-rare (flank steak may need as long as 10 minutes). Then, remove the steak from the oven and transfer to a cutting board to rest for 5 minutes.

Meanwhile, combine the avocado, tomato, radish, cilantro, and lime juice. Season the mixture to taste with salt and black pepper.

Cut the steak roughly into 3-inch lengths, and then cut each piece across the grain into ¼-inch thick strips. Divide the steak evenly between the tortillas and top each with some of the avocado mixture. Serve with a garnish of fresh cilantro leaves and lime wedges.

Old Wive's Tales and Other Myths

I recently had someone ask me why I don't pour a bit of oil into the boiling water when I'm cooking pasta. And this conversation got me thinking about all the commonly held kitchen myths. And today, I would like to debunk a few of those myths, starting with pasta water.

It is believed by some that pouring a tablespoon or so of olive oil into a boiling pot of pasta will keep the pasta from sticking together. And though it is true that oil does keep pasta from sticking together, one tablespoon is hardly enough to de-stick-ify an entire pound of pasta. In fact, to truly achieve this goal you would have to float a rather thick layer of oil over the top of the boiling water – a dangerous concept to say the least – as most middle school science students can tell you that oil and water do not mix. Let's be serious here - many a kitchen fire starts with an inexperienced cook trying to mix those polarized water molecules with those neutral oil molecules. So if you're worried about your pasta clumping together, do as I do – drain the cooked pasta first, and then toss it with some olive oil before serving.

Then, there is the myth that fish is done cooking when it can be easily flaked with the tines of a fork. Well... that's true, the fish is done when it flakes. But the fish was also done well before it was flaking out. So the better test of a fish's doneness is to poke it with a knife. If the fish is firm and opaque all the way through, it is done. And when cooking fish, the rule of thumb is: a 1-inch thick piece of fish takes between 8 and 10 minutes to cook.

And when it comes to old wive's tales, one of my person favorites is: if you sear a piece of meat, it will seal in the juices. And this is simply not true. You sear a piece of meat to enhance it's color, texture, and flavor. You don't sear it to seal in the juices. And if you don't believe me, think of it this way – if you get a sunburn, you still sweat. And the case does not change for a piece of beef. When you cook the outside of a steak, the juices still run out of it just as easily.

So I hope that helps clarify a few points of contention in the kitchen. Of course, cooking is in many respects a subjective art. So if you believe in one of these kitchen myths, don't let me stop you from believing. I suppose in the end we all enjoy a bit of harmless superstition.

College Food

The other day, I had this young college student come up to me in the grocery store. He said that he had just finished his first year of college and would be spending the summer renting an apartment with a few buddies. (A common college experience for most people.) Well anyway, he said that the situation was a bit... concerning. Though he was quite excited to be living with his buddies, he was a bit intimidated by the food situation. Let's be honest here, we all rather enjoy the luxury of having a parent or college cafeteria lady prepare all our meals day after day. But when striking out on our own for the first time, the thought of cooking every meal can be a bit intimidating. So today, I'll share with you the same advice I gave him. It's really pretty basic stuff, but I think it should help.

First, stay away from the junk food. Sure that bag of cheese puffs and those tubs of chocolate pudding might look appetizing, but let's be honest here – they're unhealthy, they're expensive, and they're really not much of a time saver. So steer clear of the junk food aisles at the grocery store. Instead, spend more time in the freezer section. Frozen fruits and vegetables are a quick, healthy, and affordable start to any meal. Plus, most frozen vegetables are already sliced and diced for you - so you don't have to work. And they are frozen at the peak of freshness - so you don't need to learn what characteristics separate a the eggplants from the bad...

Second, when you cook, cook BIG. One giant lasagna can easily feed four hungry college men for a couple of days. So ask your parents for recipes that feed a crowd. Or stop by the bookstore and invest in a cheap entertaining cookbook that teaches you delicious recipes that feed a crowd. That way you can enjoy a hot meal every night of the week, and yet only spend one evening in the kitchen.

And third, buy in bulk. Not only is it cheaper, but hey – you're a college kid! That 5-gallon pail of mayonnaise will not only dress your sandwiches for the next few months, but it can also be repurposed to serve as a hair conditioner, a sunburn treatment, and an adhesive remover that can then be used to peel off those stuck-on bumper stickers. It's win, win!

I hope these tips help. And good luck to all the college students out there who are heading into their first summer on their own.

Ten Conversation Starters

Have you ever had one of those awkward dinner dates? You know what I mean – those evenings out that are plagued by uncomfortable silences, less-than-entertaining anecdotes, and profuse sweating? Well if you have, there's no need to worry about such things anymore. Today, I'll share with you some of my favorite conversation starters. Of course, which conversation starter you choose to employ does depend upon the person you're with. But I think this list provides a decent enough array of conversation topics that you should be able to find something to work for you.

10 Conversation Starters

(ask as needed to get the conversation going)

• If a tree falls on a gopher, does the gopher make a sound?
• How did your parole hearing go?
• What animal do you believe has the worst breath?
• If you were trapped on an island, would you still floss your teeth?
• Did your parents ever have children?
• If you worked at a circus, what job would you have?
• Why do pajamas have pockets?
• What song do you sing in the shower?
• If you stay up until the wee hours of the morning and then have a drink before bed, is it still considered a nightcap?
• What's the weirdest thing to ever happen to you during a colonoscopy?

Wedding Planning, Part IV

Now that your parents have met the future in-laws, it is time to tell everybody else about your impending nuptials. (Assuming of course, that your parents, your future in-laws, and you survived the meet-the-parents party without embarrassment, anxiety attack, disownment, or other pre-wedding concern...) And like any newly engaged couple, you undoubtedly want your wedding announcement to capture the attention of the public in a memorable and fun way. So today I'll offer you a few creative ways to announce your engagement to the world. Sure these tips might be a little silly, but hey - marriage is too long to not laugh a little...

First, you need a catchy title for your wedding announcement. And though it is traditional to merge your fiance's last name with your own into a simple hyphenated title (e.g. Moore-Bacon), I find that rather boring. So instead of the traditional hyphenated affair, I prefer to write something a bit more attention grabbing. How about a title like... “The End Is Near,” “Game Over,” or my personal favorite – “She Isn't My Cousin!” Put a title like that on your wedding announcement and everyone (including your cousin) will take notice and share in your excitement.

Second, be certain that the wedding announcement includes all of the important information, namely - who, what, when, where, and why. Of course, the who, what, when, and where should be rather obvious. But when it comes to the question of why (let's face it – that's really the question people will want answered), the announcement becomes a bit trickier to write. You could say something like, “We met at a corn shucking competition in Nebraska, and it was love at first shuck...” But who really wants to hear the true story? I think it is much more fun to make something up. So, when addressing the question of - why are we getting hitched – think creatively. A wedding announcement that says something like, “We are getting married because genetic testing has determined that we're perfectly paired to parent the next Lance Armstrong, Colin Powell, or Paris Hilton...” should really grab people's attention.

And lastly, it wouldn't be a wedding announcement without a photo of the happy couple. But to make it a bit more entertaining, why not have a little fun with the photographer? Try swapping clothes with your fiance to see if anyone notices. Or if you don't like that idea, then go online to find a photo of some hot Hollywood couple (e.g. Carrie Underwood and Chace Crawford) and photoshop your faces onto their bodies. Trust me, your wedding announcement will get a lot more attention if your future husband's face is pasted onto Carrie Underwood's body...

So those are my wedding announcement tips. I hope they help. And until next Monday, I wish you good luck with all your wedding planning!

Greek Chicken Salad

GREEK CHICKEN SALAD

Whether grilled indoors or out, this recipe for Greek Chicken Salad is a healthy and delicious meal at any time of the year.

Serves 4 to 6

1	small yellow onion, peeled and sliced
¾	cup, plus 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for greasing
1¾	cups (about 10 ounces) feta cheese, coarsely crumbled
¼	cup red wine vinegar
4	cloves garlic, peeled and smashed
2	tablespoons Dijon mustard
2	teaspoons dried oregano
	Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1½	pounds (about 4 to 6) chicken cutlets
1	head romaine lettuce, cut into bite-size pieces
1	pint cherry tomatoes, halved
1	English cucumber, thinly sliced
1	small red onion, peeled and thinly sliced
½	cup Kalamata olives, pitted

In a skillet set over medium-high heat, sauté the yellow onion in 1 tablespoon of oil until tender, 2 to 3 minutes. Transfer the onion to the bowl of a food processor. Add in ¼ cup of feta cheese, as well as the vinegar, garlic, mustard, and oregano. Pulse until smooth. With the machine running, gradually incorporate ¾ cup of oil. Season with salt and black pepper.

Place the chicken cutlets in a nonreactive container. Pour half of the dressing over the chicken (reserve the remaining dressing for the salad). Cover and marinate the chicken for 1 to 2 hours in the refrigerator.

Lightly oil the grates of a grill or grill pan, and heat until hot, but not smoking. Remove the chicken from the marinade (discard the marinade), and grill until browned and cooked through, 3 to 4 minutes per side. Remove the chicken and rest for 5 minutes before slicing.

In a bowl, combine the lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, red onion, olives, and 1½ cups of feta cheese. Dress the salad with the remaining dressing, and serve with the chicken.

The Fix for Offended Dinner Guests

I think we've all been in this situation before: you're hosting a great dinner party and everything is going perfectly, but then Uncle Larry shows up and offends half of the dinner guests with his foot fungus and apply jelly story... Well don't worry. Regardless of how uncomfortable your dinner guests may now feel, you can still save the remainder of your evening. Simply review the tips that I've provided below, and select which option is best for you.

• Immediately change the subject to a topic that everyone will appreciate. I would suggest starting a conversation on such topics as: bacon; why Rhode Island is named in such a manner (it's neither a road nor an island...); and which of your children you would most likely sell to the circus...
  
  
• Bring a small creature into the room. Let's be honest here, nobody can stay upset when there is a puppy, kitten, baby, or piglet in the room. And if you don't have a puppy, kitten, baby, or piglet to bring into the room, then run across the street and borrow the neighbor's for a moment.
  
  
• Yell out the words, “change places!” And then play an impromptu game of musical chairs. With any luck your dinner guests will have too much fun in the commotion to remember the awkward conversation.
  
  
• Serve something with bacon. Nobody can stay angry when there's bacon to be eaten.
  
  
• And if all else fails, sniff the air and ask “Is something burning?” Then, rush out of the room and don't return until your dinner guests have either resolved their differences or left.  

The Boring Day at Work

Are you having a boring day at work today? Well don't worry, I have a couple of ideas that might just help spice up your boring Wednesday.

• Throw a birthday party! Simply stop by the HR department and find out if someone is celebrating a birthday today. Then, buy a cake at the local bakery and celebrate the birthday boy's/girl's big day. And if nobody is celebrating a birthday today... Well... don't let that stop you. Let's be honest here - it's Wednesday, everyone is pretty much dying for an excuse to not work. So stop by the bakery, buy a cake, and have them write “Happy Birthday Ted!” on the top. And if anyone asks, “Who is Ted?” simply point to the crowd and say, “You know... Ted...”
  
  
• Go into the storage closet and weave all the paperclips together. Then, sit back and watch as all your coworkers wrestle with the giant strand of paperclips. It's a simple prank that can really provide for hours of entertainment.
  
  
• Instigate an impromptu dance party. Not only will everyone be up and getting exercise, but it's also an opportunity to get close to Cheryl in Accounting. (Or Gary in Receiving should that be your preference...)
  
  
• Redecorate your cubicle. You would be surprised how much a strand of Christmas lights and a mini chocolate fountain will brighten your day.
  
  
• And if all else fails, sit down at your computer and Google random words and phrases until the end of the day. (Some of my favorite search words/phrases are: Donald Trump's hair, why doesn't Donald Duck wear pants, why is my computer so slow, and bacon.)

I hope that helps. And have a great day!

Road Trip!

As the temperature rises, we are swiftly approaching the road trip season. And like most 20-somethings, I find the thought of jumping into a car with a bunch of friends and driving aimlessly across the country to be quite appealing. And yet with gas prices as they are, I think it is safe to say that fewer and fewer people will be taking very many road trips this summer. However, if you are like me and still wish to spend at least some time on the open road, then read on as I share some of my favorite road trip tips.

• The first rule of road tripping is – no drinking and driving, no texting and driving, no eating and driving, no nothing and driving. I don't mean to sound like your mother here, but when you do that stuff, you endanger everyone on the road.
  
  
• Second, always pack a hibachi grill. Let's face it, the best part of road tripping is tailgating! (“Tailgating” as in cooking out of the back of your vehicle, and not as in driving so close to the point of rear-ending someone). So pack that grill in there with everything else and fire her up every chance you get. Well... ok... perhaps not every chance you get. Somehow I don't think it would be a wise idea to barbeque a couple racks of ribs while tearing down the highway at 90 miles an hour...
  
  
• If one of your road trip mates happens to be a bit on the flatulent side of things (be it proudly or otherwise), insist that that person sit in the back seat. This will prevent the driver from becoming distracted by the foul stench of fermenting pizza and tacos. Plus, if you have electric windows, the driver will easily be able to open the rear windows to air the place out, whether the farter likes it or not.
  
  
• Bring along a map. Eventually, you are going to have to turn around and go back home. So be certain that someone is recording your route on a map. This will enable you to easily find your way back when your vacation ends. (Or when you get so sick of your road trip mates that you can't take it anymore and head back home in silence – which is probably the more likely scenario...)
  
  
• And lastly, enjoy the ride. The goal of road tripping is not the destination, but rather the journey. So take your time, stop off to see that World's Biggest (insert silly object here), take lots of photos, and have some fun.

I hope you find these tips helpful as you head out onto the open road. Oh, and one last thing to keep in mind as you're road tripping across the country – never EVER sit down on a truck stop toilet seat!

Wedding Planning, Part III

Another important step when planning a wedding is to introduce your parents to your future in-laws. And though most people leave this step to the last minute – allowing the families to meet during the the rehearsal dinner (or worse, the wedding) – I like to do it earlier in the wedding process. Let's be honest here, you're going to be spending every Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday, and funeral with these people. And you need to know if you're going to be able to tolerate it. So, plan a get-together early, to help prepare yourself for what is to come.

And when planning that get-together, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, never surprise the family with the engagement announcement. Sure, a meet-the-parents get-together might seem like the perfect opportunity to announce your engagement. But nothing ruins a party more than your mother doing a spit-take over the surprising news. (Especially if that spit-take lands on your future mother-in-law's best dress...) So tell both your parents and your future in-laws that you are engaged well before planning a family meet and greet.

Second, plan out some conversation topics. I know this sounds kind of anal-retentive, but it will help. Let's be honest here, every first meeting is riddled with awkward silences. And you definitely don't want your socially awkward cousin getting nervous in the silence and sharing with all the world her most recent tales of bunion battling. So plan out a few topics of conversation, and use them as needed when the conversation fizzles out.

And third, if you're the one doing the cooking, don't try to outshine your future mother-in-law. This might seem a bit counterintuitive, but trust me. Every mother wants to believe that she can care for her daughter/son like nobody else. So slightly burn the steak to stay on your future mother-in-law's good side.

Tiramisu Cheesecake

TIRAMISU CHEESECAKE

What's better than eating dessert? How about eating two desserts at the same time? Well, that's exactly what we're going to be doing, with my decadent recipe for Tiramisu Cheesecake.

Makes one 9-inch cake

1	cup vanilla wafers or ladyfingers (such as Savoiardi), finely ground
1	cup chocolate wafers, finely ground
¼	cup (½ stick) unsalted butter, plus more for the pan, melted
¾	cup freshly brewed espresso or strong coffee, cooled
3	packages (8-ounces each) cream cheese, room temperature
1	package (8-ounces) mascarpone cheese, room temperature
1	cup granulated sugar
1	tablespoon cornstarch
pinch	kosher salt
4	large eggs, plus 2 large egg yolks, room temperature
1	tablespoon pure vanilla extract
2	tablespoons cocoa powder, mixed with 2 tablespoons confectioner's sugar
	Fresh berries (such as strawberries, raspberries, or blackberries), for garnish

Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Butter a 9-inch springform pan and set aside. Mix the ground vanilla and chocolate wafers with the butter and ¼ cup of the espresso. Press the mixture into the bottom of the pan. Bake in the preheated oven until set, 10 to 12 minutes. Cool.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat together the cream cheese, mascarpone, granulated sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Beat in the eggs and egg yolks one at a time. Incorporate the vanilla and remaining ½ cup of espresso.

Wrap the outside of the springform pan in foil and pour in the cheesecake filling. Place in a roasting pan and transfer to the oven. Add enough hot water to the roasting pan to come halfway up the side of the springform pan. Bake at 350ºF for 50 to 60 minutes (the center of the cake will still be jiggly). Turn off the oven and allow to cool for 1 hour. Then, remove the cake and cool to room temperature before transferring it to the refrigerator to chill.

Remove the cake from the springform pan and transfer it to a serving platter. Sift the cocoa and confectioner's sugar mixture over the top of the cake and garnish with the fresh berries.

The Landscaper's Picnic

Well, it appears that the time has finally come to start mowing the lawn. And I will admit, I'm one of those odd people who actually enjoys mowing the lawn. But then again, I suppose that statement should come as no surprise to you, my fair reader. Let's be honest here, if you haven't already thought, “Wow, this Nathan guy is kind of odd...” then you haven't been paying close enough attention... But all that aside, I do believe there is something relaxing about riding about the lawn, soaking up the sunshine. In fact, the only thing that I can think of that might improve upon the experience is a delicious snack to eat while mowing. So, today I will share with you some of my favorite lawn mowing snack ideas.

• As with all summertime activities, a triple-scooped ice cream cone topped with hot fudge and peanuts is the perfect lawn mowing treat. Just be certain not to play music while mowing the lawn. Let's be honest here – if you have both music playing and ice cream, the neighborhood kids are just going to mistake you for an ice cream truck...
  
  
• A grilled ham and cheese is a great lawn mowing snack. And to make it a complete meal, try layering some barbecue potato chips between the layers of ham and cheese. The chips make for a crunchy and delicious complement to the simple sandwich.
  
  
• Nachos are an excellent lawn mowing treat. And if you duct tape the dish of nachos to the hood of your riding lawn mower, the heat given off from the engine should keep the nacho cheese sauce nice and hot.
  
  
• If you get thirsty while you're outside mowing, try filling that beer helmet with a couple cans of your favorite soda, Gatorade, or fresh pea soup.
  
  
• And for those of you who might be looking for a healthier alternative, try a push mower...

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I must say, today may very well be my favorite day of the year. It's National Eat What You Want Day!!! It's a day to forget about all things healthy, and gluttonously devour all those foods you deprive yourself of every other day of the year. And in celebration of National Eat What You Want Day, I've complied a few recipe suggestions that you should find diet-bustingly delicious. Enjoy!

• Duck confit always tops my National Eat What You Want Day menu. It's basically a duck leg that is heavily spiced and then braised for a long period of time in pure duck fat... Yeah... It clogs the arteries just thinking about it, but it sure is tasty. Mmmm.... duck confit... <insert gurgling noise here>.
  
  
• For those of you who don't have the time to make duck confit, I recommend a couple of those KFC double-downs. You know what I mean? Those sandwiches that replaced fried chicken for bread. Yeah, get a couple of those, they're just about as heart healthy as duck confit. (And since it's National Eat What You Want Day, I would also recommend that you wash down that double-down with some form of eggnog – one of the most calorie-laden drinks ever made!)
  
  
• Also, remember to top everything with a healthy layer of bacon. In fact, instead of thinking of bacon as a delicious breakfast meat, think of it more as... a verb. Don't just roast a chicken, bacon and roast a chicken. Try baconing your stuffed-baked haddock. And serve your dinner guests a deliciously baconed maple pound cake.
  
  
• Today is also a great day to let the kids have some fun in the kitchen. Why not teach them how to make their own chicken nuggets, fish sticks, and Twinkies? They'll get a cooking lesson, and you'll both get to eat some of life's greatest guilty pleasures. It's win, win.
  
  
• And it wouldn't be National Eat What You Want Day without dessert. So make a selection of your favorite desserts. And then, sandwich your serving(s) of dessert between two chocolate chip cookies for the perfect (utensil-free) finale to a great day!

For Your Unhappy Stomach

Did that third slice of pizza give you heartburn? Is your colon now gurgling because you popped one too many jalapeno poppers? Are you sweating profusely because that fresh salmon skin roll may not have been so fresh? Well if that is the case, you're going to want to read today's posting. I'll be discussing some of my favorite home remedies for gastrointestinal distress. So take a quick swig of Pepto and read on.

• Fresh or dried papaya is actually a great cure for heartburn. It contains papain (an enzyme that aids in digestion) and works as an all-natural heartburn remedy. But a couple words of warning when using this tip: eating too much papaya can actually give your skin a somewhat orangey tinge (much like excessive carrot consumption). And papaya also acts as a natural laxative. So unless you hope to end up with Oompa Loompa orange skin and and a case of diarrhea, go easy on the papaya – a little goes a long way.
  
  
• And if you do happen to eat too much papaya, don't worry – you can still rebalance your colon with some friendly probiotics. Probiotics are living microorganisms that help regulate your digestive tract. They are found in most forms of yogurt (as well as some pickled foods, miso, and tempeh, etc.), and are quite safe to eat. Just be warned, those Jamie Lee Curtis yogurt commercials do overlook one key side effect. Probiotics do tend to cause gas (especially at first). So, be sure to open a few windows...
  
  
• Peppermint can be used to treat most gastrointestinal concerns. In fact, the ancient Egyptians used peppermint to treat everything from heartburn to irritable bowel. Plus, peppermint has the added benefit of masking your terrible breath. It's win, win!
  
  
• If you're feeling nauseous, gnaw on some ginger or – better yet – have some ginger ale. I must admit, I include this tip only because my parents swear by it. I actually find that the carbonation of the ginger ale upsets my stomach further. But if you are of the belief that such ginger-flavored sodas can help, then drink away!
  
  
• And lastly, if you got gas, eat something that is spiced with cumin. And I know what you're thinking – cumin is popular in Mexican cooking. And those spicy bean burritos are what started this whole gastrointestinal situation, but trust me. Cumin contains Thymol, a compound that stimulates digestion and gets things moving...

I hope these tips have helped. And I hope you feel better soon.

Wedding Planning, Part II

So, you've found that perfect location for your wedding, huh? Great! Next, you need to think about the budget. Let's be honest here – if you put off setting the budget, you'll just end up spending all your money on flowers. And then, you'll have to settle for a bargain basement dress and a wedding ring made from one of those twist ties you get off a loaf of sliced bread... So set your budget now and avoid the disappointment of having to serve your dinner guests SPAM salad sandwiches and day-old doughnuts, later.

And when you're setting your budget, there are several things to keep in mind. First, be realistic. Did you know that the average American couple spends between $18,000 and $30,000 on their wedding? Well... they do. And though there are certainly ways to shave that number down, it is still very important to think realistically. Your wedding is going to be an expensive day. So plan ahead. Determine who is contributing money to the wedding (you, your fiance, your parents, your future divorce attorneys, etc.), how much each person can contribute, and if you will need to take out a small personal loan to make up for any financial shortfalls.

Second, once you have set the number for your budget, immediately decide which of your wedding day hopes and dreams need to be cut. (Think of it like removing a Bandaid – one quick rip and the pain is all over.) For example, you probably will need a pair of rings. And since those rings will most likely be with you for a while, I suggest you spend the extra money to purchase something you like. But you probably can live without the flocking white doves. And I think you certainly will survive without that gilded crystal, champagne-spouting fountain you've dreamt of since childhood. So strike those extravagances immediately, and then focus on how to spend your budget wisely. It's all about getting the most out of every wedding dollar.

And third, you can really cut down on the cost of a wedding by using slave labor. (And by slave labor I mean – volunteering your friends and family members to perform certain wedding ceremony jobs for free.) For instance, instead of hiring a band or DJ, why not ask your cousin Elmer to bring his iPod? That'll save you some money. And a wedding cake prepared by your mother will not only look as beautiful, but it will also be cheaper and perhaps even taste that little bit better. So recruit as many friends and family members to help as possible, and save yourself some dough.

Until next week, I wish you good luck planning your wedding.

Wild Mushroom and Pancetta Quiche

WILD MUSHROOM AND PANCETTA QUICHE

Quiche, which is a sort of savory custard pie, is a simple and delicious meal. And today, I'll be sharing with you one of my favorite quiche recipes that is filled with wild mushrooms, pancetta, and leeks.

Makes one 10-inch quiche

	Unsalted butter, for greasing
	All-purpose flour, for dusting
	Pastry for 1 one-crust pie, or 1 store-bought refrigerated pie crust, chilled
4	ounces pancetta, cut into ¼-inch cubes
1	leek, white and light-green parts thinly sliced and well washed
2	cloves garlic, peeled and minced
8	ounces assorted wild mushrooms (such as shiitake, oyster, and cremini), brushed, trimmed and halved, if large
1	can (12-ounces) evaporated milk
4	large eggs, lightly beaten
1	tablespoon Dijon mustard
4	ounces fresh goat cheese, crumbled
	Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Preheat the oven to 375°F. Butter a 10-inch pie plate and set aside. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the pie crust and fit it into the prepared pie plate. Line the crust with parchment paper and top the paper with ceramic baking weights or dried beans (this will keep the bottom of the crust flat). Bake in the preheated oven for 15 minutes. Then, remove the weights and parchment paper and continue to bake until the crust is golden, 10 to 15 minutes more. Remove the crust and cool. Reduce the oven temperature to 350°F.

In a large skillet set over medium heat, cook the pancetta until crispy. Then, remove the pancetta with a slotted spoon and reserve. Pour off all but 1 tablespoon of the pancetta drippings. Return the skillet to the heat and add the leek. Cook, stirring often, until the leek is tender, 4 to 5 minutes. Add the garlic and mushrooms and continue to cook until the mushrooms begin to exude their liquid, 2 to 3 minutes more. Remove and cool.

In a mixing bowl, whisk together the milk, eggs, and mustard. Stir in the cooled mushroom mixture, reserved pancetta, and the goat cheese. Season with salt and black pepper. Pour the filling into the cooled pie crust and bake in the preheated 350°F oven until set, 50 to 55 minutes. Remove the quiche and cool slightly before cutting into wedges and serving.

Mother's Day Card Writing 101

Mother's Day Card Writing 101

Did you know that Mother's Day is one of the busiest days of the year for most post offices? Well, it is. And rightly so, I should say. Let's be honest here, our mothers survived the agony of child birth, the terrible twos, and the terribler teens – so the least we can do is send a card. And with that in mind, today I will offer you a simple note to inscribe within that requisite Mother's Day card. Of course, you know your mother better than I. So, feel free to adapt this note to suit your needs.

Dear Mom,

Thank you for the love, the kindness, and care;

Thank you for giving up the size zero jeans for the maternity wear.

Thank you for the patience, the devotion, and praise;

Thank you for scaring the monsters, repelling the bullies, and kissing the booboo bandaids.

Thank you for the lessons you taught, the stories you read, and the “I told you so's” you shared;

Thank you for tolerating my punk-rock years that probably left you really quite scared.

Thank you for the hot cocoas, fish sticks, and mac' and cheese;

Thank you for forgiving me that time I flushed down your car keys.

Thank you for being there unconditionally and true;

Thank you for it all, and always know – I love you.

Mother's Day Entertaining

With Mother’s Day quickly approaching, you may be thinking about that Mother’s Day party. And if you are looking for a creative and fun way to celebrate that special lady, then look no further than today’s blog. Below you will find a few suggestions that should entertain the entire family and recognize your mother for all the wonderful things she does every day. Of course, as with all my tips, it really does depend upon your situation. So feel free to change these tips to suit your needs.

• It seems that breakfast in bed has become an integral part of celebrating Mother’s Day. But if you are looking to put an interesting twist on the classic breakfast a la bedroom, then why not move the bed? While your mother is sleeping, gang up with your siblings and drag her mattress outside. Not only will your mother awaken to the wonderful smells of bacon, eggs, and coffee, but she’ll also be surrounded by nature and covered in morning dew (and possibly other things depending upon the neighborhood birds, dogs, and sprinklers…)
  
  
• What mother doesn’t like a day of beauty? Of course, if that all-inclusive trip to the day spa is a bit out of your price range, then simply make a spa in your kitchen. Used tea bags placed over the eyes are great for reducing puffiness. Avocado smeared across the skin is a wonderful moisturizer and a rich source of Vitamin E, and coarse salt or sugar mixed with a little extra-virgin olive oil can be used as a simple and affordable exfoliate. Plus, a home-spa experience like this is a great bit of family time. And if your mother gets at all hungry during her spa day, she can simply lick the avocado off her face for an impromptu guacamole.
  
  
• And don’t forget to help mom out around the house. Mother’s Day is a great opportunity to help mom with the cleaning, cooking, laundry, and everything else she does for the family. Just be certain to ask her for directions before proceeding. Let’s be honest, confusing the bleach bottle for the carpet shampoo would probably not end up being the great Mother’s Day gift that you had planned…

Well, those are my ideas for Mother’s Day entertaining. If you’re a mother, allow me to say “Happy Mother’s Day.” And if you’re not a mother, allow me to remind you that Mother’s Day is this coming Sunday, so be certain to do something special for that special lady.

So You're Having a Bad Day

Are you having a bad day? Well, I suppose we all do from time to time. So, today I'll offer you some of my favorite bad day pick-me-ups in the hopes that they may help make you feel a little bit better.

• Purchase and eat anything with the word “chocolate” on the label
• Flick blobs of jelly by the spoonful at the wall
• Empty a bag of marbles at the top of a flight of stairs and watch them tumble down (this is especially humorous if someone is walking up the stairs)
• Attempt to make a bacon filled donut
• Sneak into a frat party and lose at a drinking game
• Go the the gym (the day is already terrible – it seems somehow appropriate that your muscles would also be sore)
• Sculpt a decorative swan, duck, or peacock out of aluminum foil
• Lock the door, turn out the lights, and play agoraphobic
• Call up a buddy and go fishing (a.k.a. sit beside a pond and drink a beer)
• Take up competitive channel surfing, oyster shucking, or waffle stacking